Shifting Perspectives. Fighting the Fear.
I haven’t been here in awhile. I have been back in the States from Costa Rica since July and jumped right into work and like a snap of the fingers, we’re already back nine months.
And now we’re in this shit show and I’m looking for Pura Vida. Where is it? The game of going to Costa Rica was to build a framework for living that, independent of geography, was mine to design. Whether I am in Seattle or Costa Rica or whether we are in a COVID-19 global lockdown or a panacea of pleasure, it is all good. It is as it is supposed to be.
These last several days have shaken me as they may have shaken you. I have gotten a little lazy in my vigilance of life design. Comfortable places have a way of luring me into a trance of complacency. And then….POW!
I have gotten lost in my thoughts the last several days as I have been fighting a tension with myself. The fight is (i) reacting to the fear of the current circumstance (lockdown, global calamity, etc.) with (ii) my understanding that I am in control of how I respond. I have a choice that I can maintain my curiosity, build a plan and execute, or react. Here are the counterpunches I am throwing right now that are helping me and may help you.
Consider the Opposite to Be True. What if what is happening right now is actually a gift for my life and my business? What if, in fact, it will unlock a possibility I have never considered? Could the opposite of my story that we’re in a dark period be true?
Stories are not Facts. The stories I make up tend to be more fear based. Do the facts support it? The facts don’t have feelings, so they are neither positive or negative. They are meaningless. My perception is totally in my control. I can choose a story that gives me energy.
Security, Control and Approval are Mine to Own. When I look to others to justify my security or give me approval, then I am susceptible to the vagaries of circumstances I don’t control. When my security, control and approval originate within, then I don’t really care what other people think. I live by my own standards and that’s sufficient.
Don’t Feed or Consume the Gossip. When I lean into the noise of the media of the local gossip on Nextdoor.com or the chatter among friends, it drains my energy. But it’s alluring at the same time. There is nothing helpful that comes from consuming the stories of others relayed by the stories of others. I can free up time and space to focus on what matters by ignoring non-essential information.
All I Know is Right Now. If I spend too much time thinking about what “might occur”, I lose time being in the moment. All I know is what I am doing right now. The future has not unfolded so worrying about something that hasn’t come true is a waste of time.
Play the Game. I’m not trivializing trying times. What I am reminding myself is that we’re in a big game and I can either play by my rules or someone else’s. I don’t know what other people have planned. What I know is what I am willing to do and the standards upon which I am willing to play. That’s what matters.
I’m reminded this last couple of weeks just how susceptible I am to the forces of the environment I live in to influence my behavior. If I’m not on top of my game, I can quickly get dragged into a feeling of threat and fear. That’s human nature. But the gift is the opportunity to stop and see it and…. shift. Are you willing to make a shift?