So Yes, I Have Some Fear

Max Nelson is the founder of Hood, an amazing apparel company that creates merino wool hats customized for the neighborhood that you live in. Seriously, you have to check out his site at www.hoodhat.com. Max and I spent some time together as I was writing One Life to Lead and this is a guy that not only overcomes fear, but made it his ally. He inspires me. He got sober. He had a drug problem. He shared this message with me.:

"I just let go of being scared, accepted the fear, and realized that every day is going to be another set of interesting challenges where something is going to happen, and I’ll manage through it."

I needed to remind myself of this today. I have some fear at the moment. In one week, I am hitting the trail and running 100 miles at the Cascade Crest 100. I haven't run an organized 100 for a few years now and the last big event I did (circumnavigation of the Wonderland Trail on Mt. Rainier) did not go according to plan. And, I had bit of an accident a few weeks ago that I talked about as the Magic Rock moment. I can't help the fear. I can't convince myself intellectually that I don't have this feeling in my gut. I just do. So okay, now what?

I know that I have a choice. Fear can take me one of two directions. It can take me down the path of being scared, which is immobilizing. It can also take me down the path of courage. I believe in this choice and it's a hard choice. Being scared makes it easy to rationalize comfort over suffering. We can retreat to that which we know versus the uncertainty that will help us grow. In One Life to Lead, I share:

Fear is deeply embedded in us because it keeps us safe. Fear is an absolutely reasonable emotion when faced with bold action. It is also the precursor to courage. Fear can be a motivating driver to take action, or it can tie you up in knots, paralyzing you. Courage is what you do when you feel fear. How do you want to harness your fear to find your courage?

I'm going to choose courage today. I know there is suffering in 100 miles. I know there is a desire to call it a day. I know there are thoughts on the journey that will have me questioning so many things about myself, especially why the hell I'm on the trail at 3am looking down the beam of a headlamp at the dusty path ahead.

But if it's not 100 miles, it's going to be something else. It's going to be a different 3am, a different beam of light. There is no running away from fear. It is a choice on how we want to approach it. I can't kick the feeling in my gut today. But I'm glad for people like Max that show what can happen when you just face the fear and walk through doors that open to you.