Kirby is the coolest guy because he’s so darn open about his journey of self-discovery as he battled with measuring himself against others around him.  Today, Kirby spends his time investing in early stage start-ups as the General Partner of Ascend VC and while he certainly invests in ideas, he’s incredible at evaluating people.  

I was eager to include Kirby in One Life to Lead as one of the chosen life designers whose stories would help shine a light on an important aspect of life design.  One of the areas that tends to trip so many of us up is that we compare how we are doing relative to others around us.  And typically, the story we tell ourselves is that we aren’t measuring up.  When we stay on that hamster wheel of comparison and keep seeking approval from others, it gets exhausting.  And it got exhausting for Kirby too.  

He shares in One Life to Lead:

I wasn’t done yet. I hadn’t achieved the huge outcome that I wanted. I had some good results, but I still had something to prove. And I was angry because I was needed at home, but I felt the need to go after the shiny ring. My daughter had been born with special needs. My wife was at home. And I was out in Vegas for my buddy’s bachelor party, the exact opposite of where I needed to be. When I reflect on that time, I see that I was certainly driven by fear—fear of not being loved or fear of not being admired. I have always been externally driven.

Further on in the passage, Kirby reveals:

Nobody really cares as much about me as I think they do. They have their own lives. And I looked at myself in 2013, and I was unhealthy and overweight and prediabetic, and I stopped chasing other people’s expectations for a minute. I finally stopped and asked myself the question of whether I really enjoyed what I was doing. 

Since then, I have lost fifty pounds. I run six miles a day. And I started an investment firm called Ascend VC to help seed other aspiring entrepreneurs to achieve their dreams.

Kirby’s arc is so genuine, so real.  He’s a different person today because he changed where he sourced energy in his life.  He moved from sourcing energy from others’ approval to sourcing it within himself.  Everything he needs to be worthy is already inside of him.  It is him.  He has nothing to prove.  And neither do you.

You can learn more about Kirby and the journey of the other designers in my new book, One Life to Lead, available on pre-order today.  

To learn more, check out One Life to Lead today.

Russell Benaroya is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker and author of One Life to Lead and Free Yourself to Work on Your Business.  To learn more, visit www.russellbenaroya.com.